I had a phone conversation the other day that just broke my heart. It all started with a private Facebook message from a girl named Betty. (not her real name)
"good morning mr copley my name is Betty and i wanted more information on how you help people transform there lives to a healthier better them. what all do you do and how in the world do you do it!"
I really didn't know this person but she had found me on Facebook so I was excited to talk to her and see what we could do to help her.
It a general sense with our AdvoCare business we help people to get physical results and we help people earn some plan B income by helping the people that they know. From this brief message I got the impression that she wanted a little of both. When I asked her she affirmed my thoughts and said she wanted to help others.
I got a little suspicious when I tried to set up a time for Teresa and I to meet with her in a park. She balked at that so we set up a phone call in the instead.
Before I got a chance to talk to her on the phone I found out how she came to know of me and I found out that she is morbidly obese to the tune of well over 400 lbs.
I went into the phone conversation not really knowing what to think but 100% willing to help this lady however I could.
To be truthful I think I knew what to expect. I was just hoping for something different.
The reality is that people that are over 400 lbs. are not bad people. They just think in a different way. It doesn't make them evil or wrong. It's simply a mindset issue. I am a firm believer that morbid obesity in most cases isn't genetic but a way of thinking that leads to the massive weight gain.
When I spoke to this lady I found our that she is young (under 30) with a young child (under 10). She is also single and unable to work because of her weight.
Honestly the details of her life broke me heart. How can someone live like that?
I spoke with her for a while and I was kind yet firm. I asked her questions about her nutrition and, again, I think I knew the answers before I asked the questions but I was hoping...
I have learned over the years to know ask people open ended questions like, "how do you eat?". People ALWAYS say either, "I eat pretty well..." or "I know what to eat, I just don't always do it..."
Both are lies.
This is the question I asked: "What did you eat for breakfast this morning?"
"Nothing. I don't eat breakfast. When I eat breakfast I get sleepy."
"What did you have for lunch today?"
"What did you have for a dinner?"
"A piece of pizza."
It doesn't take a degree in nutrition to figure out what the problem is. I didn't ask any other questions. This poor lady is starving herself and is 300 lbs over weight because of it.
This broke my heart because there is nothing that I can do. Yeah, I talked to her for quite a while. I, again, was firm but kind but at the end of the day her health is a decision that she has to make.
It broke my heart because I could tell from the tone of her voice that she wasn't ready to change and she still thought that it was "her metabolism" that was the problem. In other words...at least there is some outside force to blame.
I have been doing this a long time and it still never ceases to amaze me the number of people who appear to need so much help yet, what they fail to realize is that the help they need is simply a flip of the switch in their own mind.
Here is the simple 4 part plan I gave to Betty to get her on track:
1. Eat breakfast each and everyday.
2. No more fast food.
3. No soda.
4. Buy a cleanse and a box of Spark from her friend who is a distributor on our Advocare team.
In my mind, with my mindset, this is simple and will produce MASSIVE results.
I hope with all my heart that she sees the switch and she flips it. I just don't know if she will....